Friday, August 12, 2011
Transforming life’s major challenges into adventures
No one can go through life without facing challenges. Sometimes these challenges are large and frightening. How we face them depends mainly on our attitude. We could despair and consider the challenge an outright disaster. Or we can hope for some glimmer of light that will lead us through the storm to a good place beyond. Neither approach is easy.
In May 2011, I encountered one of the greatest challenges in my life. I had been feeling tired and having trouble sleeping. Reluctantly I went to the doctor and had a chest x-ray, which showed a little fluid in my lungs. I was given a diuretic pill to reduce the fluid in my system. I started feeling worse, so I went to St. Mary’s Hospital in Sechelt, British Columbia on May 1. I laid down for a nap in the intensive care unit and never realized what happened next.
As I was sleeping my breathing became erratic and the medical staff realized that my lungs were completely filled with fluid. They induced a coma, and paralyzed me so they could insert a life support tube into my lungs. I was airlifted to a large hospital in Vancouver where a team of medical experts battled for three weeks to save my life. I didn’t start waking up from the coma for 40 days, and then it took me a few more weeks to regain my senses, due to the powerful drugs wearing off so slowly.
After I finally understood what had happened and realized that I was almost paralyzed, I told my wife Kathy we should consider this hospital stay an adventure. I might well have considered this a disaster.
There were negative things about my hospital stay. To start with, I couldn’t speak due to a tracheotomy that put a tube into my lungs that bypassed my vocal chords. Eventually, I was provided a sheet with letters of the alphabet in order to spell out my requests or complaints. But Kathy could barely understand my communication and I was helpless to do anything for myself. I could hardly move my arms or roll over on my side.
Those of you have spent time in hospitals, or have been with friends or family who are seriously ill don’t need a detailed chronicle of the indignities experienced in hospital. But I will share just a few. Not being able to go to a toilet, but rather getting wet and soiled is irritating to say the least. Not being able to eat or drink or even to suck on ice cubes was immensely frustrating when I felt so thirsty. I dreamed that the doctor had given me permission to have ice cubes, but my nurse refused to guided by my mistaken recollection – they worried I might choke on the ice. I was helpless to do anything whatsoever for myself and the nurses were sometimes too busy to help me, and a few nurses seemed fatigued and unsympathetic.
However, most of the hospital staff was kind and competent. I had many visitors, cards, flowers, messages and phone calls. Kathy stayed by my side daily and sang to me and prayed for me, even before I became conscious. She was an angel of mercy in my desperate situation.
Small simple pleasures cheered me. Drinking Tazo tea was a delight. Seeing the mountains, sky and clouds from my window was calming. Eventually, Kathy and her brother were able to take me outside into the garden sunshine. I enjoyed many interesting conversations and had time for inspiring reflection. Friends brought me fresh fruit and flowers.
My struggle to regain my health seemed endlessly long at the time, but in less than 6 weeks after the coma, I had mostly recovered from my congestive heart failure. However, my muscles affected by childhood Polio, had become still weaker. I could not feed myself at first and it took a long while before I could get out of bed or stand up. Finally, I managed to sit up in a wheelchair, even though it seemed highly uncomfortable at first.
Each day I made a little progress and eventually I was able to use the bathroom on my own. The hospital staff helped me through rehabilitation, but there was improvement left to finish when I was discharged from the hospital at the end of July.
So how could this experience have been an adventure rather than a disaster? I chose to count my good times and blessings during this time as more significant than my limitations and suffering. I met people I would never have met. I learned things I could know no other way. I heard many personal stories. I made friends with each nurse, staff member and each patient. They came from everywhere: from Africa, India, Ireland, Caribbean, Australia and many other places.
I had long chats and played cards with Kathy. I had encouraging visitors and I eventually got a phone in my room. I avoided TV and internet so that I would have tranquility. I had hours to think, read and contemplate. The doctors said that rate of my recovery was surprisingly quick given the enormity of the blow to my system.
I believe that God works out the circumstances of our lives for our good, so I didn’t take this severe illness as rebuke or punishment. Perhaps this illness brought a message that I should attend more fully to my health as I grow older.
As I am reaching the end of my long health ordeal I feel strangely reborn. This trying time has proven valuable. My life has returned with surprising new potential. I feel an overwhelming sense of wonder and hope. I eagerly await the coming years, even more adventures.
Now it is August and I am back at our delightful home. I am swimming almost every day in our swimming pool. Our gardens are in full blossom and the fruit is ripening on our trees and berry bushes. We eat salad and veggies daily from the gardens that our friends/caretakers have tended. We have many visitors. Life is very good again.
In May 2011, I encountered one of the greatest challenges in my life. I had been feeling tired and having trouble sleeping. Reluctantly I went to the doctor and had a chest x-ray, which showed a little fluid in my lungs. I was given a diuretic pill to reduce the fluid in my system. I started feeling worse, so I went to St. Mary’s Hospital in Sechelt, British Columbia on May 1. I laid down for a nap in the intensive care unit and never realized what happened next.
As I was sleeping my breathing became erratic and the medical staff realized that my lungs were completely filled with fluid. They induced a coma, and paralyzed me so they could insert a life support tube into my lungs. I was airlifted to a large hospital in Vancouver where a team of medical experts battled for three weeks to save my life. I didn’t start waking up from the coma for 40 days, and then it took me a few more weeks to regain my senses, due to the powerful drugs wearing off so slowly.
After I finally understood what had happened and realized that I was almost paralyzed, I told my wife Kathy we should consider this hospital stay an adventure. I might well have considered this a disaster.
There were negative things about my hospital stay. To start with, I couldn’t speak due to a tracheotomy that put a tube into my lungs that bypassed my vocal chords. Eventually, I was provided a sheet with letters of the alphabet in order to spell out my requests or complaints. But Kathy could barely understand my communication and I was helpless to do anything for myself. I could hardly move my arms or roll over on my side.
Those of you have spent time in hospitals, or have been with friends or family who are seriously ill don’t need a detailed chronicle of the indignities experienced in hospital. But I will share just a few. Not being able to go to a toilet, but rather getting wet and soiled is irritating to say the least. Not being able to eat or drink or even to suck on ice cubes was immensely frustrating when I felt so thirsty. I dreamed that the doctor had given me permission to have ice cubes, but my nurse refused to guided by my mistaken recollection – they worried I might choke on the ice. I was helpless to do anything whatsoever for myself and the nurses were sometimes too busy to help me, and a few nurses seemed fatigued and unsympathetic.
However, most of the hospital staff was kind and competent. I had many visitors, cards, flowers, messages and phone calls. Kathy stayed by my side daily and sang to me and prayed for me, even before I became conscious. She was an angel of mercy in my desperate situation.
Small simple pleasures cheered me. Drinking Tazo tea was a delight. Seeing the mountains, sky and clouds from my window was calming. Eventually, Kathy and her brother were able to take me outside into the garden sunshine. I enjoyed many interesting conversations and had time for inspiring reflection. Friends brought me fresh fruit and flowers.
My struggle to regain my health seemed endlessly long at the time, but in less than 6 weeks after the coma, I had mostly recovered from my congestive heart failure. However, my muscles affected by childhood Polio, had become still weaker. I could not feed myself at first and it took a long while before I could get out of bed or stand up. Finally, I managed to sit up in a wheelchair, even though it seemed highly uncomfortable at first.
Each day I made a little progress and eventually I was able to use the bathroom on my own. The hospital staff helped me through rehabilitation, but there was improvement left to finish when I was discharged from the hospital at the end of July.
So how could this experience have been an adventure rather than a disaster? I chose to count my good times and blessings during this time as more significant than my limitations and suffering. I met people I would never have met. I learned things I could know no other way. I heard many personal stories. I made friends with each nurse, staff member and each patient. They came from everywhere: from Africa, India, Ireland, Caribbean, Australia and many other places.
I had long chats and played cards with Kathy. I had encouraging visitors and I eventually got a phone in my room. I avoided TV and internet so that I would have tranquility. I had hours to think, read and contemplate. The doctors said that rate of my recovery was surprisingly quick given the enormity of the blow to my system.
I believe that God works out the circumstances of our lives for our good, so I didn’t take this severe illness as rebuke or punishment. Perhaps this illness brought a message that I should attend more fully to my health as I grow older.
As I am reaching the end of my long health ordeal I feel strangely reborn. This trying time has proven valuable. My life has returned with surprising new potential. I feel an overwhelming sense of wonder and hope. I eagerly await the coming years, even more adventures.
Now it is August and I am back at our delightful home. I am swimming almost every day in our swimming pool. Our gardens are in full blossom and the fruit is ripening on our trees and berry bushes. We eat salad and veggies daily from the gardens that our friends/caretakers have tended. We have many visitors. Life is very good again.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Conversation with God?
In earlier times, people of faith readily affirmed the concept of conversing with a Higher Power, who was called by different names in various languages around the world. Today, even those who follow faith traditions are less certain what conversation with God means in practice; and those who doubt the spiritual dimension consider such conversation purely imaginary. Yet prayer, and hearing back from God, is at the heart of spirituality, so ignoring this mystery comes at great expense.
I grew up in a family where talking to God was entirely natural. When I left my faith in my late teens, I joined the modern mindset in scoffing at such primitive ways. After espousing materialistic atheism for a few years at Harvard, I gradually found myself growing curious about fields beyond a material dimension, such as ESP, and other paranormal phenomena. With others of my generation I was intrigued by eastern religions, which seemingly dispensed with a monotheistic God and god-given moral codes.
I will not repeat here how my meanderings led me eventually back to my Judeo Christian heritage, since I have told this story before. But although I now worship the God of my ancestors, my concept of God and the possibility of conversation have been immensely expanded.
I realize how foolish it is for a tiny human speck living on one of the many billions of planets to believe that we have the standing to talk with God from any point of even remote equality. The Old Testament accounts of Abraham, Moses and David arguing with God worked a lot better when God was conceived as a planetary deity, far greater than an earthly king, but at least remotely related to our scale.
Now that our concept of God has been expanded necessarily by a billion times, we wonder how we could conceivably relate to such a Supreme Being. It is not surprising that so many moderns have simplified this issue by dismissing the God concept entirely. Regrettably, I don’t have irrefutable arguments for the determined skeptic. But I have some hints for curious-minded souls.
I start with the observation that people in nearly every culture and time have had some concept and practice of prayer. While these phenomena can be dismissed as primitive, the arrogant assertions of unique brilliance of the 21st century mind are not supported by observation. Architecture and engineering in ancient Egypt and Greece were clearly world class by any standard. There is little reason to believe that philosophers, poets and theologians who lived in the past 3,000 years were inferior to us, except in population numbers. We are not appreciably smarter; we are just more numerous than our ancestors.
Most religious traditions have affirmed prayer both as spoken words and also as silent thoughts offered up to God. While there have been sporadic reports through the centuries of God speaking to us in direct audible speech, the general tendency is to hear His Voice as the thoughts we receive, or by surprising events.
Dialing into the thoughts of God is not as superstitious as some might suspect. Albert Einstein, the greatest scientist in recent centuries, considered God’s thoughts to be an incomparable treasure trove. So did the ancient writers of the Psalms.
We do not easily tune into the thoughts of God. Spiritual training, discipline and introspection are needed to discern God’s voice. And yet, a little child knows clearly at times what God wants.
God is the ultimate source of all brilliant thought and invention, whether or not the person so inspired knows, or gives credit to God. We can train our minds and hearts for better reception, but all of humanity receives this gift of occasional inspired thinking, unless we destroy our minds.
I will not digress here to consider the source of evil thoughts and impulses to action, which is another topic.
The practical question many would ask is: if we pray for a specific request, will God answer? Unfortunately, the answer is an unqualified “maybe.” God hears our every thought, prayer, or curse. But God responds in surprisingly diverse ways.
I have taken vexing questions and situations to God and at times received quick answers, which seemed miraculous. Millions of others testify to such results. But countless prayers also seem to go unanswered for reasons that theologians cannot explain. God always hears, but His decision-making is incomprehensible to our minuscule minds.
God can never be manipulated to suit our purposes, whether by the unscrupulous, or even by those who live according to His Will. Sometimes the upright petitioner seems rejected, and sometimes the scoundrel receives a miracle. God does not play according to our rules!
Climbing the Spiritual Mountain
Almost every culture has used the metaphor of a mountain to symbolize our spiritual journey. In reality, spiritual people do not need to enroll in actual mountain climbing expeditions. But they do need to prepare for an arduous, life-changing journey.
The mountain climb consists of relationship building and of character transformation. To relate well to such an infinite God is markedly demanding. The relationship building is not only upward to God, but also in relating honestly and kindly to all of humanity. These two types of relationships cannot be successfully separated.
Jesus summarized the spiritual journey as loving God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength, and loving our neighbour as ourselves. That is the foundation of spiritual relationship. This involves making God the center of our entire universe, which is harder than it would seem. But the rewards are heavenly.
We can gradually bring our lives and thoughts into the presence of God by making Him the center of our consciousness. Every action and every breath we take can become part of our unending conversation with our Creator. This is the meaning of “praying without ceasing” as enjoined by St. Paul.
True spirituality practiced for a lifetime leads us to becoming friends with God, as incredible as this may be. In one sense. God is already the Friend of all who seek Him, but this is not their conscious experience moment by moment. In fact, I have not met anyone who lives so far up the mountain that they are God-conscious at every waking moment. But I believe that such a high spiritual altitude may be attainable. That is likely the place Moses and the other spiritual giants of the past lived.
God invites us daily to conversation: through the exquisite beauty of trees, ocean and mountains; by celestial music; by transcendent artistic creation; by all growing things; through the unexpected kindness of a stranger; and, by the ineffable beauty of daily life. There is no better friendship or conversation than this.
I grew up in a family where talking to God was entirely natural. When I left my faith in my late teens, I joined the modern mindset in scoffing at such primitive ways. After espousing materialistic atheism for a few years at Harvard, I gradually found myself growing curious about fields beyond a material dimension, such as ESP, and other paranormal phenomena. With others of my generation I was intrigued by eastern religions, which seemingly dispensed with a monotheistic God and god-given moral codes.
I will not repeat here how my meanderings led me eventually back to my Judeo Christian heritage, since I have told this story before. But although I now worship the God of my ancestors, my concept of God and the possibility of conversation have been immensely expanded.
I realize how foolish it is for a tiny human speck living on one of the many billions of planets to believe that we have the standing to talk with God from any point of even remote equality. The Old Testament accounts of Abraham, Moses and David arguing with God worked a lot better when God was conceived as a planetary deity, far greater than an earthly king, but at least remotely related to our scale.
Now that our concept of God has been expanded necessarily by a billion times, we wonder how we could conceivably relate to such a Supreme Being. It is not surprising that so many moderns have simplified this issue by dismissing the God concept entirely. Regrettably, I don’t have irrefutable arguments for the determined skeptic. But I have some hints for curious-minded souls.
I start with the observation that people in nearly every culture and time have had some concept and practice of prayer. While these phenomena can be dismissed as primitive, the arrogant assertions of unique brilliance of the 21st century mind are not supported by observation. Architecture and engineering in ancient Egypt and Greece were clearly world class by any standard. There is little reason to believe that philosophers, poets and theologians who lived in the past 3,000 years were inferior to us, except in population numbers. We are not appreciably smarter; we are just more numerous than our ancestors.
Most religious traditions have affirmed prayer both as spoken words and also as silent thoughts offered up to God. While there have been sporadic reports through the centuries of God speaking to us in direct audible speech, the general tendency is to hear His Voice as the thoughts we receive, or by surprising events.
Dialing into the thoughts of God is not as superstitious as some might suspect. Albert Einstein, the greatest scientist in recent centuries, considered God’s thoughts to be an incomparable treasure trove. So did the ancient writers of the Psalms.
We do not easily tune into the thoughts of God. Spiritual training, discipline and introspection are needed to discern God’s voice. And yet, a little child knows clearly at times what God wants.
God is the ultimate source of all brilliant thought and invention, whether or not the person so inspired knows, or gives credit to God. We can train our minds and hearts for better reception, but all of humanity receives this gift of occasional inspired thinking, unless we destroy our minds.
I will not digress here to consider the source of evil thoughts and impulses to action, which is another topic.
The practical question many would ask is: if we pray for a specific request, will God answer? Unfortunately, the answer is an unqualified “maybe.” God hears our every thought, prayer, or curse. But God responds in surprisingly diverse ways.
I have taken vexing questions and situations to God and at times received quick answers, which seemed miraculous. Millions of others testify to such results. But countless prayers also seem to go unanswered for reasons that theologians cannot explain. God always hears, but His decision-making is incomprehensible to our minuscule minds.
God can never be manipulated to suit our purposes, whether by the unscrupulous, or even by those who live according to His Will. Sometimes the upright petitioner seems rejected, and sometimes the scoundrel receives a miracle. God does not play according to our rules!
Climbing the Spiritual Mountain
Almost every culture has used the metaphor of a mountain to symbolize our spiritual journey. In reality, spiritual people do not need to enroll in actual mountain climbing expeditions. But they do need to prepare for an arduous, life-changing journey.
The mountain climb consists of relationship building and of character transformation. To relate well to such an infinite God is markedly demanding. The relationship building is not only upward to God, but also in relating honestly and kindly to all of humanity. These two types of relationships cannot be successfully separated.
Jesus summarized the spiritual journey as loving God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength, and loving our neighbour as ourselves. That is the foundation of spiritual relationship. This involves making God the center of our entire universe, which is harder than it would seem. But the rewards are heavenly.
We can gradually bring our lives and thoughts into the presence of God by making Him the center of our consciousness. Every action and every breath we take can become part of our unending conversation with our Creator. This is the meaning of “praying without ceasing” as enjoined by St. Paul.
True spirituality practiced for a lifetime leads us to becoming friends with God, as incredible as this may be. In one sense. God is already the Friend of all who seek Him, but this is not their conscious experience moment by moment. In fact, I have not met anyone who lives so far up the mountain that they are God-conscious at every waking moment. But I believe that such a high spiritual altitude may be attainable. That is likely the place Moses and the other spiritual giants of the past lived.
God invites us daily to conversation: through the exquisite beauty of trees, ocean and mountains; by celestial music; by transcendent artistic creation; by all growing things; through the unexpected kindness of a stranger; and, by the ineffable beauty of daily life. There is no better friendship or conversation than this.
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