PAY ATTENTION

In July, my family came close to major disaster on the highway, while driving back from a wedding in Denver. My son Michael (who is normally a superb driver) switched lanes on a 6 lane highway and moved in front of a semi truck. Just then, all the cars ahead slammed on their brakes. The huge truck struck us and spun our car around three times, but fortunately sent us safely onto the roadside rather than into the heavy traffic. A one-second lapse of attention nearly cost the lives of my wife and me, with our three sons.

Most of us are unaware of how scattered our attention is for what matters most to us. I know of a husband who has left a decades-long relationship with his wife not because of another woman, but because he feels he never gets the significant attention he deserves.

I sometimes watch myself drift along in a conversation with my sons, where we give each other perhaps 20% of our full attention. How often do we try to talk with someone staring at a computer or TV screen?

We half listen, but another part of our mind is very far away. We are all neglectful sometimes, whether in attention to important people, or to our jobs, or to other things we value highly.

Most people have trouble concentrating on one thing. We expect loss of concentration during times of stress, fatigue, illness, or crisis. But it comes equally from a somewhat careless attitude.

People today often blanket their minds with loud music, TV, and other electronic media, which provide a hypnotic relief from the outside world, but avert their attention from what is actually going on around them. Drugs and alcohol provide the same shelter from unwelcome reality. But they worsen our problems, rather than helping us. We are far better off to notice the pain or discomfort and to find out its causes, rather than relying on anesthetics.

Full attention involves a decision, a choice of priority. To concentrate on one single focus, you must deliberately ignore competing interests.

There are special exercises for building up our powers of concentration. This has always been a major objective of meditation and of other spiritual disciplines. By regularly focusing for an extended period on our breathing, or on our heartbeat, on a mantra or a prayer, we can learn to concentrate far better. (Academic disciplines, some games, and sports can similarly develop our capacity to concentrate.)

When we try to engage in such mental exercises, the first thing that we notice is the distractions which pull us away from our focus. For instance, we may be counting our breaths, but we lose track quickly because of the noises, competing thoughts, and other distractions. However, sustained practice over several years on such simple concentration exercises can bring tremendous benefits.

I find attention and focus to be highly important in every major sphere of my life: in my Work; Family; Health; Creative Projects; and in my Spiritual Development.

My ability to concentrate is partly a function of my health and general well-being; but it is also a faculty which can be developed with continuous practice. Years ago, I observed that while my ability to speak persuasively was excellent, my listening skills were mediocre. So I started to focus regularly on the faces of everyone talking with me. While I have not achieved Olympic level listening skills, I am now a better listener than before.

Full attention brings more tranquility and harmony into our lives. It enhances our enjoyment of life’s pleasures. It deepens our understanding. It enriches every facet of our lives.

You might want to challenge yourself to pay FULL ATTENTION in some area of your life where you want real progress.

Good luck!