Moving On

Many people start dreaming long before retirement about finding a better place to live, where they can enjoy doing the things they love most.

Nonetheless, there is something bittersweet about actually moving away from a family home, where our children have grown up, and where we spent some of the happiest days of our lives.

Kathy and I came to our Vancouver house when our son Michael was five, and our older children were seven, twelve and fourteen. Since then, our house has rung with laughter and parties for both children and adults. This old house, in this lovely neighbourhood, and in a great city, has been very precious to us!

But the time has come for moving on. One by one our children have moved out to seek their destiny elsewhere. Only Michael has remained with us in the old house, and he has spent most of his time away with friends. Fewer people have been eating at our table recently; usually just Kathy and I, and we now look beyond home for our social activities.

Our old house has been needing many repairs: the kitchen floor needs to be replaced; the dishwasher is broken; windows are hard to open and close; the hallway floor creaks because of a loose board. However, since we are now retired, we have decided to build a new and better home.

We are now moving to a virtual paradise on the Pacific Coast 40 miles northwest of Vancouver. We have an lovely acreage with mature trees, both fruit-bearing and decorative. There are colourful bushes and flowers in bloom much of the year. We are also building a wonderful new house with the help of an inspired architect.

The situation of our old house in Vancouver reminds me strikingly of my aging body. I am now 60 and although in good health, I realize that my body will wear out within a few more decades. Although my parents lived until their 90’s, I can not count on good health for that long.

My body has more creaks and pains than ever before, despite getting regular exercise and eating healthy food. My shoulders ache. My legs are sore sometimes. My digestion is not as good as it used to be. I am progressing through the normal stages of aging. Fortunately, I still look relatively young for my age. But I have no illusions that that I can continue long in the prime of my life. Soon I will become older still and then will come the time for the ultimate Moving On.

The prospect of giving up my old body is not as frightening for me as it is for many people. I still hold the beliefs of my parents and ancestors of a wonderful Home of the Soul where our spirit can go after our death. While I cannot describe this pace with accuracy, I sometimes get a deep longing to be in Heaven, where all is joy and peace.

I realize that my belief in Heaven is not shared by all. Many people regard belief in Afterlife as just lingering superstition. I cannot prove them wrong. But let me give you a few considerations.

Virtually every ancient culture worldwide has believed in an afterlife for the spirit: Hindus, Buddhists, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Polynesians, Africans, and Native Americans, among others, have all held this common belief throughout history; there are few cultures without this belief. One could conclude that all cultures suffer from common wishful thinking. On the other hand, perhaps these traditional cultures, less distracted by modern technology, have demonstrated a common access to a realm of the spirit that we have nearly lost.

These visions of Heaven have included an end to all suffering, pain and tears. It has been described as a realm of beauty and splendour, where glorious music and wonderful scenes bless those who enter there. Some people today still encounter this glorious place in their dreams and times of meditation.

So as I move on from my Vancouver house and consider that I will one day also giving up this body which houses my spirit, I am struck by similar feelings of poignancy: both seem like moving on to a Far Better Home.

A Lifetime Commitment in the Same Direction

Last night I went to see the movie Amazing Grace, the story of how William Wilberforce led an evangelical group committed to outlawing the oppressive evils of slavery throughout the British Empire. If you had stopped the movie two thirds of the way through, you might have concluded that Wilberforce was an idealistic failure, who wasted his life, wealth and health on a hopeless cause.

But in fact, after a 20 year campaign, Wilberforce and his companions turned around both the Parliament and also British public opinion. A mere handful of idealists converted a great nation and the entire British empire to more humane standards which outlawed the slave trade.

His triumph surely stands near the peak of spiritual accomplishment. I suspect that Wilberforce’s contribution to human civilization was perhaps even greater than that made by Abraham Lincoln, Gandhi or Mother Teresa, not that comparisons matter. Unfortunately, Wilberforce has now been virtually forgotten some two centuries later.

What I found thought provoking was Wilberforce’s struggle as a young man, trying to decide between a life devoted to purely spiritual pursuits vs. a life of social action; finally, he realized that both callings could coexist together.

When you consider how great the cost of this struggle was to Wilberforce in every dimension of his life, you might conclude that he was misguided. For a while, he was a political and social outcast; his family life and health were nearly ruined; and he became addicted to Laudanum, an opium-based medicine that he took to sleep and to calm his bowels and shattered nerves.

But his ultimate triumph outshines these very real costs. He deserves the greatest honours for almost extinguishing the slave trade; although slavery persisted in the United States and elsewhere for half a century more, but at least there was an end to fresh capture of Africans to be transported across the Atlantic. Wilberforce stands as a beacon to anyone who considers committing themselves to a noble cause on behalf of wider humanity.

The other fascinating thing I saw in his story was the importance of a lifetime commitment. In today’s world of instant cures for all ills (particularly those promised in the political world) it is useful to reflect that great changes and progress seldom come quickly, sometimes not even within the duration of one lifetime. This principle applies to most forms of human endeavour.

During my career as a businessman, I was amazed to find that successful entrepreneurs were rarely exceptionally charming, well educated, brilliant, or talented. The one trait they possessed in common was a deep commitment for many decades to their business concept. They typically started out on a humble scale in a basement or garage and just kept going in the same direction for 20, 30 or 40 years. Equally, I observed that people who pursued completely new directions every year or two almost never succeeded – it seems the kiss of death.

This rule of long, lasting commitment applies to almost any type of career. It applies to relationships, including marriage and family. It applies to artistic endeavours, sports and virtually every other dimension of human accomplishment. To really succeed requires a passionate commitment for many years.

Obviously, not everyone who is strongly committed achieves spectacular success. However, I think they will become the best in life that they could ever be. And public recognition or accumulating significant wealth is not a good measure of a lifetime of accomplishment. I have written previously about my humble parents, who failed to reach much visible success, yet were recognized in their community as extraordinary people.

I once met a Jewish businessman who told me that religion is essentially discipline. While there are many other aspects of a spiritual life, including grace, spirituality clearly involves a strong commitment for a lifetime.

Of course, we experiment and explore in our spiritual life to find Real Truth for ourselves. But eventually, we adopt some lifetime core values (at least by default), whether these are values that lead to our moral dissipation or those that contribute to lasting human betterment.

Nearly all of us have a sense that we should do something worthwhile with our lives, something of lasting significance. This is best done by making our commitment long before the sunset of our lives. We should stick to our commitment both in pleasant times and also when we are nearly overwhelmed by chaos sweeping over us.

Such dedication and commitment, by even a few resolute souls, can change the life on our planet much for the better! William Wilberforce provides a wonderful illustration of how much can be achieved in one life by resolute dedication.