There are times in most of our lives when we feel completely down and out. At such times, our world seems to be collapsing around us and the pressures become intense. We are almost tempted to give up the struggle to survive.
I can remember some particularly dark hours. When I was a college student at Harvard in the late 1960’s, a summer roommate committed suicide. Not long afterwards my fiancé left me, during a time when I was experimenting with drugs. My moods became dark and confused. I was disoriented and totally off track.
I have had other dark times since then, perhaps not quite as intense. These times come due to sickness, a relationship breakdown, death of a loved one, a crisis with our job, or for any number of other good reasons. What these times all have in common is the intense feeling of darkness, despair and even depression.
Ancient spiritual texts (like the Psalms of David) speak metaphorically of falling into a pit or into a deep hole. Sometimes this pit seems like our burial ground, even though we are still struggling with all our resources not to become swallowed up.
Although it is possible for us to be ambushed by undeserved illness or by sudden misfortune, it is far more typical for us to be mostly responsible for our own pain and suffering.
We may have neglected our health, or our finances. We may have become hopelessly overcommitted with our jobs and/or family responsibilities.
We haven’t allowed enough time for rest, recreation, and other healthy disciplines. In fact, we may have grown dependent on drugs (legal or illegal) and alcohol just to get by.
Thus when misfortune strikes, we have drained our resources and are unable to meet the challenge. We fall into an attitude of hopelessness. The downward spiral seems almost unstoppable.
Most often, we need to accept responsibility for creating part of our difficulty. And even where disaster comes out of left field without any fault of our own, we ourselves are best able to improve the situation by using our creativity and determination.
For instance, I was severely paralyzed by Polio at age five. My parents assumed that I was destined to a lifetime of severe handicap and dependence on others. Fortunately, I dreamed of a wonderful future, which has indeed come to pass, despite having one bad leg. And sometimes I struggle still with this limitation and with my other shortcomings. That is part of the human condition.
Obviously, not every crisis has a fairy-tale ending. Some situations are virtually intractable. We may suffer from an illness which we know will eventually become fatal. We may live in a country or situation where there is little prospect for enjoying a happy life.
I wish there was a simple formula for getting out of any deep hole, but it is unfortunately not that straightforward. On the other hand, most situations are not doomed to failure, despite our dejected feelings. With time, most difficulties can be overcome.
Usually, it takes a crisis in our lives for us to recognize our own serious flaws and to begin the disciplined effort to make major changes in our lives. The great Swiss psychologist and philosopher Paul Tournier said that in times of crisis we can often make more changes in six months than we would ordinarily make in 20 years.
God and Destiny use crisis to bring us to our senses. These challenges come not to make us despair, but to work on our own transformation. Very rarely does falling in to a deep hole signify the end of our lives. There are almost always opportunities for us to dig our way out of our deep hole, however slowly.
Through fatigue or inertia, we sometimes choose to wallow in our dark hole for a long while before we start to explore solutions.
No comments:
Post a Comment