Sunday, February 01, 2009

We Do Have Enough Time

One of the nameless fears that has always hounded me (mostly subconsciously) is that I don’t have enough time.


Not time enough perhaps for arriving at an appointment punctually. Or for promptly finishing a project. Or for getting taxes filed by the deadline. Or perhaps for finishing my book without delay before I run out of steam.


Last week my wife Kathy said that since we are now retired, we actually do have enough time for everything we really need to do.


At first my mental reaction was no, we never have enough time. I seem perpetually busy, from when I wake up to when I sleep. Even in the night I wake up thinking that I need to send an email, or to work on my writing, or perhaps on my To Do List.


But on reflection, I realize that I do indeed have enough time, and that I have always had enough time, even when I was a busy executive flying from one city or continent to another.


It is true that at age 62 my time is finite. I just went to the doctor for my annual physical exam. Even though I enjoy good health, my doctor soberly explained the different things that could cut my life short. As a male, I am vulnerable to three types of cancer: one is easy to detect (prostate cancer), another is difficult to spot (colon cancer), and the final type is virtually impossible to identify until it is terminal (lung cancer).


But if I continue my exercise, reduce my weight, and constantly monitor my health, I might live into my 80’s or 90’s. But no guarantees.


Well. That might sound a bit discouraging. But on the other hand, it doesn’t need to be dispiriting. I have 525,600 minutes each year to enjoy. Perhaps 10 – 15 million minutes left in my life to fill with wonder.


I have stopped wearing a watch. I don’t need to sit by a computer or TV. I can unplug everything. I can sit and talk to whoever walks by. I can stroll idly around my garden or down to the beach. I can sing old songs. I can cook a meal without hurry.


So I actually do have enough time for whatever comes. And I have always had enough time for what truly mattered most. But we live in a culture that tells us the opposite. It says we never have enough time.


The attitude of hurry and worry fills us with unnecessary anxiety. We either live in the unfinished past or else we dwell on tomorrow’s problems. So there never seems to be enough time to live now, in this present moment.


We must decide which alternative to believe. We can either live our whole lives thinking “I can’t stop for a breath or I may lose this race”, or else we can make a conscious decision to think “I have enough time to slow down to live in the present moment”.


Whichever thought we choose will keep repeating itself in our mind again and again as we face the daily pressures of living.


One thought is tranquil, the other thought is anxious.


So I have decided what to think.


I have Plenty of Time.

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