When I was five years old I received $20 from my Uncle Will to purchase a new red wagon. Coming from a farming family with nine children in 1952, I could never have expected such a wonderful gift from any other source. My brothers and sisters marvelled at my good fortune.
Through the years I have received many other significant gifts, both tangible and intangible. In 1965
Countless other people have given me gifts, far more than I can ever record; the most significant were continuous gifts from my wife Kathleen and gifts from my parents, who are now deceased.
My wife has given me a level of support and kindness that causes my friends and family to marvel at my great good luck. She not only takes care of household and family needs tirelessly, but she constantly watches to see if I am lacking anything, perhaps just a cup of coffee, or encouragement to take a swim. She cares for me beyond reason.
I have been told that I am also a generous person, but I take little credit if that is so. My parents instilled generosity by their wonderful example, so I have not thought too much about it. I just learned early in life that the look of delight you get when you surprise someone with an unexpected gift more that compensates for the time or money spent. So despite my shortcomings in other areas, generosity has not been so difficult for me.
As I grew older I learned to contribute both time and money to my community, for which I received the normal recognition. I could not give away $20 billion like Bill Gates or Warren Buffet, but I can well understand the wonderful appreciation and recognition they receive, which make enormous gifts worth their while.
But let me move now from such colossal gifts to contributions that are virtually imperceptible.
Rather belatedly after 30 years of marriage I am now trying to support my wife better, day by day and hour by hour. I try to cook her imaginative meals. I try to respond more quickly when she enters the room rather than staying glued to my computer. I try to be more sensitive to her deepest desires. She claims that I have been a good husband before this time, but I remember being neglectful many times.
My purpose here is not to indulge in true confessions, but rather to share my struggles to improve my giving of intangible gifts. I am consciously trying to improve my sensitivity to everyone around me in the smallest of things, such as listening intently when people speak, rather than giving them half attention.
I have come to realize how enormously important are the little things we do each day and each year. We are either building up good relationships constantly, or else we are letting our relationships gradually wear down by mindless neglect.
Generosity is the basis for building strong community around us, wherever we live or work. When we give freely, most people respond in kind by giving back freely. When many people give freely to each other, the result is a caring sympathetic community where we feel loved and cared for.
The most important gifts we give are not just our time or money, although those matter. It is more giving our attention, giving compassion, giving sincerity and giving intimacy.
Most of us are fortunate to know at least a few people who behave this way. Our challenge is become benefactors ourselves.
Giving monetary gifts has become quite fashionable for those who are affluent. It is far less fashionable think of others at every moment, rather than “ME FIRST”.
My guess is that we can never achieve lasting happiness and purpose in life without giving freely to others. Other methods to achieve sublime contentment fail miserably.
Perhaps this is why generosity is at the heart of spiritual teaching. It is the essence of the Golden Rule: So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you.
Someone must take the initiative of being first to give. Why not you and me?
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