The Answer is Out There

Every day of our lives brings some sort of challenge or struggle.

As young people we exert ourselves to get the education we need to fulfill our dream for the future.

Later, most of us search for a job that will support us. These days that could be very difficult. Even when we are employed, our job situation keeps changing, bringing new problems to deal with. We may want to change employers, which is also hard.

Some are looking for a life mate, perhaps someone to start a family with. Living by yourself can be lonely.

For older people, there are increasing health questions, not to mention enough money for retirement.

From time to time, we feel inadequate for our constant battles. We would rather duck or dodge, or go into a hole to avoid our difficulties; so we may distract ourselves with music, entertainment, drink, drugs, busy-ness. But escape is not a permanent solution. Eventually, we need to find a way out.

Our family and friends can provide help and comfort. But sometimes, our total resources seem insufficient. We feel we are near the end of our rope. We doubt whether we can survive these intractable troubles.

In such difficult situations we may ask is any help available from beyond us? Can a thoughtful well-read person really believe there a God who cares about us?

These knotty questions have bedeviled scholars and priests since time immemorial. Different religions (or different denominations) provide dissimilar responses. However, there is widespread agreement at least that there is real wisdom and help to be found beyond the human sphere.

Ultimately, such questions become intensely personal, involving ME and GOD (or whatever name you may call the Higher Power). As a university student, I started out thinking that it was just ME alone, with no Greater Intelligence out there. But that answer didn’t prove satisfactory for long, so I started searching every philosophy and religion to find a framework for understanding my life. After a decade of investigation, I returned reluctantly to my ancestral spiritual tradition for language, concepts and wisdom to deal with my life’s challenges.

I started to pray, even while my doubts remained about who or what was out there to listen. I prayed about my work, about my health, for protection from danger, for friends in trouble. I prayed for peace to still my anxious mind.

My spiritual journey has gradually taken me to better places, even though struggles and challenges remain. Like most retired people, I have watched my income shrink. I face health issues, due to after effects of the crippling polio I suffered at age five. I am struggling now to become a writer, which is a new and difficult task.

I continue to pray and I have started to record my responses. I prayed recently for the sale of a property after the real estate market had collapsed but surprisingly got a customer. I prayed about some new entrepreneurial aspirations and got the clear answer I needed for my future direction.

Prayer however, is a humbling experience; and it requires humility to start praying. Imagine addressing a Being far higher than any president or prime minister. That is enough to make any soul tremble.

As the Rolling Stones’ song says,

No you can’t always get what you want;

but if you try sometimes,

you might find

you get what you need.

None of us would expect a thunderbolt from Heaven with a clear and immediate answer to every question and to every request. But something changes inside of us when we pray. Occasionally the change is external and dramatic.

In our hopeless despair, the greatest wisdom is going to the Ultimate Source. There is an answer out there to life’s perplexity. God grants wisdom to those who earnestly search and ask.

Good-bye to Timmy, our Loyal Friend

Timmy passed away November 20,2008 after an unfortunate accident when he stepped in front of a car. Timmy was nearly 12 years old (84 in human terms) and had lived longer than the average Cocker Spaniel.

He was born in Mississippi on February 3, 1997, a son of champion and grand-champion show dogs. He came to our home for Ben’s 12th birthday. In his prime he had perfect markings and a wonderful champagne-color coat. But we remember him for many more important things. He was our constant family friend in many adventures.

He loved chasing birds, eating, and playing. He had a healthy respect for cats, having moved in with two of them when he was 10 weeks old. He had a wonderful nose and could track animals or humans. He loved to find a ball thrown into deep weeds.

In this past year he had increasingly poor health. His heart was giving out, the vet though he might have cancer also. He lost most of his sight, smell and hearing. But he was ever-loving. While he was fortunate not to go through final pains of old age, he will be fondly missed by his family – Paul, Kathy, Joel, Jenny, Ben and Michael – and by his many friends!

Good, but Flawed

How many great leaders have you known who turned out to have serious flaws?

Most of us were indignant when we found out that presidents Nixon and Clinton lied to conceal their secrets. Many of us were also shocked to learn that Mahatma Gandhi and Chairman Mao had affairs with women in their older years. You or I could provide more examples of seemingly great people with large flaws.

We prefer forthright characters like Winston Churchill who proudly displayed his spicy disposition, so that there were no shameful secrets to be revealed after his death. We instinctively prefer people who acknowledge their flaws upfront.

In my student days I became enamoured with a famous guru who seemed to have the last word on virtually any topic under the sun. But eventually, as it often happens, it turned out that he had fatal flaws. He had seriously deceived both himself and his followers.

Actually, I have not met any person, however saintly, that has no flaws whatsoever. By flaws, I mean unintentional defects in our character or behaviour, usually due to ingrained habit or our blind spots.

It is actually comforting to be able to acknowledge flaws. Trying to keep them secret is tedious. Confession of weakness is good for us; greater clarity and deeper insight usually follow.

That is not to dismiss our necessary struggle to become better morally, spiritually and in every way. Nor is this any excuse to flaunt our flaws rather than to gently work on removing our rough edges wherever we can.

Not to acknowledge our flaws makes us appear hypocritical. That is why religious people are sometimes ridiculed. They often pretend, when they are unable to attain complete holiness, but this pretence is not convincing.

So this raises the question: is everyone good, but flawed? Regrettably not! All people may be flawed, but not all people are good.

Some people are mostly evil with perhaps one or two redeeming qualities. At the bottom end of the spectrum are the crime bosses, murderers, torturers, exploiters and warlords. We may rarely meet such an evil person, and we might not recognize them if we did. In fact, they usually pretend to be good on the surface. Deception is their hallmark trait.

The majority of people avoid extreme evil, but they also do not strive hard to become good. Those who do not make strong efforts to improve themselves continuously fall into this vast middle ground of “not quite good, but not completely evil”. This category of people contains many shades of grey, ranging from almost pleasant to generally disagreeable.

Finally, there are those who sporadically work on self improvement, moral betterment, and spiritual growth. Although their motives are good, they lack the patience, stamina, determination and courage to become all that they could be.

The question then becomes, can one become truly good despite having flaws? I believe that we can. A diamond can shine with exceptional brilliance despite its flaws; so can we.

Healthy spirituality requires constant striving for goodness in every aspect of our lives. It means pursuing good health, exercise and wholesome diet. It involves becoming very good at our work, so that people want our goods or services. It means doing good to others in every relationship – living generously.

It is never too late to start working on our spiritual health. The voice from the mountain peak calls everyone to begin the climb. There is much help available along the way. And it is the most beautiful and glorious path imaginable. The landscape and scenery is magnificent for those reach to the sky.

Climbing the Spiritual Mountain

I live at the base of a large mountain, but most people who come to visit me don’t see it, because the gradually sloping mountain top is well hidden by tall trees behind our house.

Visitors notice that when you walk south from our house you descend a long way down to the beach. However, few people realize that if you walk northward you must also climb up almost continuously; in fact, you will ultimately reach a mountain peak if you keep ascending steadily.

From here, you can hardly tell that you are on a mountain side unless you go elsewhere to look at it from a different perspective, where the trees don’t block the view.

I like the picture of a mountain as an analogy for our spiritual life. It is a continual climb to reach the peak of our spiritual potential and many people at the bottom know little about the wonderful heights up above.

The spiritual life is virtually invisible to our normal senses, which is why great spiritual teachers have used parables, symbols and metaphors to speak about this indescribable world of the spirit. These teachers also climbed mountains to get away from busy crowds in order to encounter God directly. Somehow mountain heights make our Creator more visible to our senses and souls.

That is my reason for calling my blog Abbey Mountain. It represents my spiritual quest. This real and metaphorical mountain is located high above my house which I call Blackberry Abbey (also for symbolic reasons). I hope that the Abbey will become a pathway up this mountain.

Mountain climbing requires both serious effort and disciplined preparation. In the mountain heights we are sometimes exposed to raw elements, like thunder, lightning, ice, and unexpected storms. Survival is by no means assured if you get lost in mountain wilderness.

People often don’t realize how hazardous our ordinary lives can be until some catastrophe strikes: a broken marriage, a ruined career, a serious disease, or another major misfortune. Not all of these perils are avoidable, of course, but spiritual strength enables us to survive when we otherwise might give up hope.

Nurturing our spiritual life has lost its dependable form in modern culture. Traditional societies have had well known spiritual disciplines like prayer, meditation, community gathering, scripture and singing as means of strengthening our spiritual resources and seeking the Presence of God.

Today there are so many innovations in spiritual practice that it is confusing unless you belong to a traditional faith or have some solid anchor. For me that anchor is the teachings of Jesus (although I have also found great wisdom recorded in other faith traditions throughout the centuries).

I delight in spiritual innovation as long as it stays consistent with ancient belief and practice. Unfortunately, there are increasing forms of self-spirituality which seek to elevate us to a near deity level. While I believe that we should become sons and daughters of the Omnipotent Spirit that is far removed from becoming gods or goddesses without reference to a higher power – such belief is fantasy.

God created our universe with loving intention, despite all the evil that has come since. I admire Albert Einstein’s simple quest for truth: “I want to know God's thoughts; the rest are details.”

Beyond a finding a basic belief, we also need to practise our spiritual faith daily. We need a sense of mission and purpose outside mere personal survival. We are either working with God’s help to build a better world or else we are becoming lost on the mountain climb.

Spiritual practice should strengthen every aspect of our lives: our relationships, our family and community, our health and emotional well being, our career and our wealth. Spiritual practice is of immense practical value, but it needs to go beyond practicality.

God in whatever form or name you may use is at the top of every real spiritual mountain.

Spiritual mountain climbing should never be a solo enterprise based solely on our own capability and knowledge. We need reliable guides, both in person and through writings to guide us to this higher realm. We also need healthy spiritual disciplines.

Mountain Climbing

The Ultimate Source of Good Fortune

Whether we are young or old, we may sometimes wonder what we could do to improve our fortune. Improving it quickly would be particularly appealing!

We may attempt this by rational methods which we can control. Are there new skills, courses, disciplines or self-motivation methods that could make our life more successful?

Or we may look for a lucky coin, an auspicious horoscope, or the winning lottery number.

Or we might try business or investments to make a quick success.

Our quest is to rise above the world around us so that our life will be much better than normal drudgery.

The prospect of instant wealth has become a large industry which preys upon our gullibility. We may spend our money to enrich Las Vegas barons or perhaps at state-run lotteries.

We may purchase books and magazines that claim to share special secret knowledge.

Many of us flock to gurus and talk show hosts that declare they will provide us with the luck we need. Some do this in the name of religion, offering spectacular healing and other fantastic miracles.

Get-rich-quick scams abound of every kind that are supposed to provide us a fortune. Whether offered by Wall Street or by quacksters, these questionable schemes inevitably disappoint.

However, there is a genuine path to greater success in life even though it is perhaps slower than we wish. It lies in the spiritual dimension, in the realm of the unseen. It is the path of spiritual wisdom. If we diligently look for it, we will find it.

Spiritual development is mostly a slow process that depends on building good habits and character, lasting values and beliefs. There is not a quick easy path up this mountain of spiritual development. There are no simple techniques for sudden enlightenment.

This wisdom offers us hope for lasting relationships and a strong family. It teaches us how to work much better, how to lead and to motivate. It also shows us how our fortune is improved in helping others who are less fortunate.

At the top of the mountain of spiritual growth lies something great, a power far beyond ourselves. True wisdom is aligning ourselves with the Ultimate Power in the universe, who is often called God. You might use other names, but that is less important.

Most religions and cultures have believed in a world beyond us and in a Higher Power which creates our visible world.

However, many modern sophisticates have rejected this traditional view. They acknowledge none greater or higher than themselves in the universe; they believe that we are the gods and goddesses that create and control the world about us. So they blindly follow every passing fad, expecting to be rewarded for their great brilliance.

Albert Einstein was the greatest scientist of the modern era. No single contemporary has rivalled him in lasting influence. Einstein said he developed his revolutionary theories by trying to figure out God’s thoughts in designing the universe. Einstein said:

My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble mind.

Today we can still reach out our mind to the Great Intelligence beyond us. We do this in prayer, meditation and reflection.

From these come great creativity, wisdom, and insight.

Real fortune comes only from right understanding: of ourselves and of the world around us. It comes when we seek from the true Source.

Field of Flowers

Giving Good Gifts

Most of us can remember significant gifts we have received.

When I was five years old I received $20 from my Uncle Will to purchase a new red wagon. Coming from a farming family with nine children in 1952, I could never have expected such a wonderful gift from any other source. My brothers and sisters marvelled at my good fortune.

Through the years I have received many other significant gifts, both tangible and intangible. In 1965 Harvard University gave me a four-year scholarship with room and board fully included; without this enormous donation I could not have afforded to attend one of the most expensive schools in the world.

Countless other people have given me gifts, far more than I can ever record; the most significant were continuous gifts from my wife Kathleen and gifts from my parents, who are now deceased.

My wife has given me a level of support and kindness that causes my friends and family to marvel at my great good luck. She not only takes care of household and family needs tirelessly, but she constantly watches to see if I am lacking anything, perhaps just a cup of coffee, or encouragement to take a swim. She cares for me beyond reason.

I have been told that I am also a generous person, but I take little credit if that is so. My parents instilled generosity by their wonderful example, so I have not thought too much about it. I just learned early in life that the look of delight you get when you surprise someone with an unexpected gift more that compensates for the time or money spent. So despite my shortcomings in other areas, generosity has not been so difficult for me.

As I grew older I learned to contribute both time and money to my community, for which I received the normal recognition. I could not give away $20 billion like Bill Gates or Warren Buffet, but I can well understand the wonderful appreciation and recognition they receive, which make enormous gifts worth their while.

But let me move now from such colossal gifts to contributions that are virtually imperceptible.

Rather belatedly after 30 years of marriage I am now trying to support my wife better, day by day and hour by hour. I try to cook her imaginative meals. I try to respond more quickly when she enters the room rather than staying glued to my computer. I try to be more sensitive to her deepest desires. She claims that I have been a good husband before this time, but I remember being neglectful many times.

My purpose here is not to indulge in true confessions, but rather to share my struggles to improve my giving of intangible gifts. I am consciously trying to improve my sensitivity to everyone around me in the smallest of things, such as listening intently when people speak, rather than giving them half attention.

I have come to realize how enormously important are the little things we do each day and each year. We are either building up good relationships constantly, or else we are letting our relationships gradually wear down by mindless neglect.

Generosity is the basis for building strong community around us, wherever we live or work. When we give freely, most people respond in kind by giving back freely. When many people give freely to each other, the result is a caring sympathetic community where we feel loved and cared for.

The most important gifts we give are not just our time or money, although those matter. It is more giving our attention, giving compassion, giving sincerity and giving intimacy.

Most of us are fortunate to know at least a few people who behave this way. Our challenge is become benefactors ourselves.

Giving monetary gifts has become quite fashionable for those who are affluent. It is far less fashionable think of others at every moment, rather than “ME FIRST”.

My guess is that we can never achieve lasting happiness and purpose in life without giving freely to others. Other methods to achieve sublime contentment fail miserably.

Perhaps this is why generosity is at the heart of spiritual teaching. It is the essence of the Golden Rule: So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you.

Someone must take the initiative of being first to give. Why not you and me?

Karnak Temple in Egypt

The People of Heaven

Finding your way to Heaven is not easy, because it has no address or telephone listing. It is not legally incorporated, files no tax returns, nor elects any leaders. Many people wonder if it exists.

However, the concept of Heaven is as old as human history. Virtually every religion has incorporated a concept of Heaven in some fashion. Our ancestors’ greatest project throughout history has been to build temples, churches, mosques and other monuments celebrating this heavenly realm beyond our normal senses.

From the cathedrals of Europe to the ruins of the Jerusalem Temple I have seen the evidence of this heavenly theme. Sculptures and paintings depict angels in a shining world beyond the skies. Poems and scriptures eulogize this Divine Destination.

In a trip to Egypt two years ago, I saw hundreds of giant pillars from Karnak Temple in Thebes still standing incredibly tall and straight after more than three millenniums of onslaught by wind, sand, and human destruction. This immense temple complex was built on 100 hectares (247 acres) of land and contains three major temples. Karnak is one of the largest temple projects ever built. The ancient Egyptian religion was consumed with preparing for eternal life. However, they believed that the barriers to reaching Heaven after death were nearly impossible to overcome, even for a pharaoh.

In China I visited the fabled “Temple of Heaven” in Beijing. Thousands of years ago Chinese people believed in a Shang Dì, an omnipotent, just and supreme being. They also believed in Heaven. The Chinese Emperors honoured this ancient tradition by making regular sacrifices and worshipping at the Altar of Heaven, right up to the beginning of the 20^th Century.

Of the many religious teachers, the most helpful that I have found is Jesus. The central theme of Jesus’ message was that the Kingdom of Heaven is very near to us and easily reachable if we seek it. Jesus called people to revolutionize their lives to enter into this Eternal Kingdom, which he said exists both in the Now and Hereafter.

The mysterious Kingdom of Heaven extends down to our earthly realm of pain, sorrow and struggle. Whenever we see someone sheltering a lost child; someone assisting an old person who has no relatives nearby; or when we find a person trying to bring peace and healing to hostile parties, we are likely watching a Citizen of Heaven.

Heaven is a reality which we begin to enter in this earthly life, if we expect to reach it at all. We enter Heaven by creating Graciousness and Beauty all around us through our compassion, generosity and non-violence.

My mother was one of the many People of Heaven. I wrote about her death in my blog on November 5, 2006. She created beauty and light wherever she lived and traveled. She worked constantly to help those who were suffering or in despair.

I have met many other people who are busy creating a small corner of Heaven right now wherever they live and work. It is hard to describe adequately the ineffable quality of life achieved by souls who strive to transform our world. You have probably also met some of the People of Heaven, whether or not you recognized them. In fact, if this description fits, you may also be a Citizen of Heaven.

The People of Heaven are not perfect, nor do they claim to be. Nevertheless they labour continuously to build a better tomorrow. As individuals, they may seem unimportant, but as millions they appreciably improve the world. They bring hope for the tragic world we face now. They also look forward to a better world far beyond us.

A Citizen of Earth and Heaven?

I have been reflecting for quite a while on the issues arising from my identity and my loyalty. Many of you know that I was born in the United States but moved to Canada 35 years ago. People still ask me: “So are you an American or a Canadian”. Legally, I could answer yes to both; but which of these is my primary identification?

To complicate matters, my ancestors were German Mennonites, and I learned to speak a German dialect (“Pennsylvania Dutch”) as a child. When I worked in Frankfurt, Germany in 1972, some German residents assumed that I was also German, which I am, emotionally, in part.

But I have other national loyalties also. My wife Kathleen is an Irish Canadian, so my children have both Irish and Canadian passports. I might thus apply for Irish citizenship (based on my marriage) so that we could all live and work in the European Union.

Furthermore, my mother’s surname is Overholt; this name comes from a picturesque village high in the Swiss Alps. My father’s family emigrated from Alsace which is now part of France. I worked for most of my career for a Dutch bank, so I also speak the Dutch language.

Finally, I have learned to speak a bit of Spanish and Chinese, so I can identify readily with those cultures also. Do you think I am slightly confused in my cultural/national identity?

Actually, I believe that I am fortunate to realize that strong national and cultural identities can often be more of a problem than an asset, because they often promote conflict.

The greatest challenge facing our world is conflict: clashes between individual people, between families, between communities; conflict between tribes, states, nations; conflict between cultures and religions.

Imagine a world where we stopped fighting so fiercely for our own possessions, for our own territory and our contending ideas; where Marxists and Capitalists could sit down peaceably for dinner, with Royalists, Anarchists and Democrats. Imagine Baptists, Catholics and Muslims and Hindus conversing pleasantly and exploring their vast differences amicably.

Imagine people from China and Japan, India and Pakistan, Israel and Syria, from Venezuela and the United States, all agreeing on a fundamentally new direction – where world resources were shared equitably and where we conserved the Earth from despoiling; where people from every continent helped each other notwithstanding their huge differences.

Utopia is what they call this. Poets, philosophers and prophets have long hoped for such a Utopian world, but this golden hour never seems to arrive. Our differences and conflicts seem instead to grow fiercer. More people have been tortured and slaughtered in the past 100 years than ever before in the history of Earthlings!

So what is to be done? Thousands of recipes for peace have been touted over the centuries; I am not a prophet or guru who can solve this intractable dilemma.

However, I believe that we have already heard most of the wisdom we need to contribute our individual part to world peace and harmony. We may begin this quest somewhat haphazardly, but as long as we continue heading in the right direction, much progress can be achieved. So what is stopping us?

It is our misguided loyalty. We support our own nation against other nations, even when our nation is wrong, or at least partly wrong. We assume our religion or belief is supremely correct, even when some of our fellow members (whether Christians, Muslims, Hindus, Marxists, etc.) are involved in wars that murder helpless victims. We amass wealth mostly for our family when someone down the road is hungry and cold.

As a Citizen of Earth, we should be loyal to every other Citizen of Earth, not favouring “our group” of citizens against other groups of citizens. This is much harder to accomplish than to preach, but it is worthy of our serious thought and reflection. Unless we individually stand up against the tide for what we believe, there can be little hope of stopping Hell-sent demagogues like Hitler who want to manipulate and enslave us. We should loyally oppose our own friends, our coworkers and our governments when they violate this principle of global citizenship.

But there is another dimension to this equation. Most religions and cultures worldwide have shared a historic belief in a dimension that transcends our mundane life on earth. Not everyone believes in a monotheistic God, but most people believe in a “higher reality’ which in many societies has been called “Heaven”. It is from this Higher Realm that our wisdom comes. Heaven is both our spiritual origin and we hope our ultimate Destiny. St. Paul wrote in his letter to Philippians: “Our citizenship is in Heaven”.

True prophets worldwide have always taught goodwill towards foreigners and strangers. They have advocated compassion towards all humanity, particularly the most poor and disadvantaged. We do not need to resolve all of our differences in order to work for universal peace and goodwill. Mostly we just need to renounce force and coercion as a means to resolve our disagreements.

At every turn in the road, we need to recall our obligation to be loyal to Heaven and loyal to our fellow citizens of Earth. We should examine our conduct to see that it is consistent with this larger and higher loyalty.

We will unquestionably encounter struggle when we oppose narrow-minded loyalties; but it is far better to struggle (or even die) for the right cause, than to fight for a narrow segment of humankind. There is nothing wrong with loyalty to our friends, family and nation, except when these loyalties become the context for doing wrong to foreigners and strangers.

Heaven help us all!

Driven by Fear?

The plane took off from Boston’s Logan Airport and climbed towards a cruising altitude. Suddenly, there was an explosive sound and two stewardesses ran down the aisle in apparent panic. The plane hurtled towards the ground without any explanation from the captain. I was in complete shock and believed that we were going to crash! Fortunately, the plane made a successful emergency landing, but my fear of flying remained acute for years afterwards.

This Boston emergency was less dangerous than another flight I was on 25 years later in Texas, when we were forced to land our plane due to smoke in the wiring system. But the nightmare event in Boston at age 20 caused me sheer terror whereas the Texas incident didn’t.

Fear is something we all have in common. We fear for our safety from criminals, from wars, and from financial catastrophe. We fear being inadequate to deal with the challenges of life.

We especially fear for the future, for our own inevitable death, for the potential loss of our closest friends and family. We fear that the future world will not be a good place to live, whether due to pollution, economic collapse, terrorism, world war, or whatever.

We may just fear growing old, losing our strength, beauty and mental functioning, perhaps with no one close by to care for us. The list of fears is almost endless.

Our response to danger, real or imagined varies significantly from one person to another, and may change over the years as our personality and character develop.

Fear and anxiety grow when our lives become too busy and complicated to find regular rest and recreation. Fears may also grow when for some reason our lives contain far too much unproductive time and we think about ourselves incessantly.

Many of our fears come from outside of us: from books, movies, newspapers, TV, and other sources. While these vicarious adventures are thrilling, they can also build up our unconscious fears. A mental diet of less threatening material diminishes our fear. Peaceful hobbies, outdoor activities and restful thoughts all contribute to feeling peaceful

Building up a safe place in our mind, emotions and in our physical reality helps a lot to overcome fear. Mental habits are especially important, because fear is rooted in dwelling on negative thoughts.

Faith in a Transcendent Power can help quell our fears, where we trust that God will work things out for our protection. My developing faith helped me as a young businessman when I had to fly constantly despite extreme fear of flying. Although I was an agnostic at this time, I started to recite my childhood prayers whenever I flew. Before long I also started carrying a Bible and reading the Psalms, which comforted me when the plane would bounce and shudder violently.

I can not remember when my fears diminished to the point where they were no longer a major driving force in my psyche, since it happened quite gradually. However, I know that it coincided with my increasing prayer, meditation and faith.

I do not recommend faith as a security blanket, but I believe that it has helped me to live without being driven by fear. However, religious faith does not automatically enable us to overcome our fears. It takes all of our combined mental and emotional powers to surmount these strong emotions. It takes a multi-faceted approach.

Developing courage is a major part of overcoming fear. I often remember the saying: A coward dies a thousand deaths, but a brave person dies only once. We waste precious energy by confronting imaginary fear scenarios which never happen. Our courage grows when we confront our doubts and suspicions, and then resolutely march forward in spite of them.

Hiding from fears makes them grow larger. How many of us with a mysterious body ailment have avoided seeing a doctor for fear of it being something malignant or life-threatening? Reclusive people who don’t get outside eventually conclude that the world out there is far too dangerous. A short walk each day would prove that the neighbourhood is actually an enjoyable place.

Overcoming even a few small worries builds up our confidence. The more fears we confront rationally, the greater our confidence grows. This takes practice and determination. Learning to take small risks and to develop our capability gradually builds our character. Travelling out of our comfort zone frequently is excellent medicine.

Developing powerful relationships with close friends and family members helps to overcome fears. It is worthwhile to acknowledge our greatest fears and to list them. This should be done in daylight and ideally in the company of a close friend.

Separating out improbable dangers from those which are more real and immediate helps too. For example, the probability of dying in a plane crash on a major airline is less than one in a million, even though more people die in small non-commercial planes. When my cousin died flying a small plane, I erroneously concluded that all planes were highly dangerous, which was a bad understanding of probability. Instead, I should have resolved not to fly with amateur pilots in small planes.

Most fears involve blowing up a highly improbable danger into the most likely future, which is simply bad logic. Life is always a bit risky, but generally the dangers are tiny compared to our overly active imagination of danger.

Above all, we should not run away from our fears. There is no true escape, whether through sedatives, intoxicants or continuous entertainment. If we avoid them when awake, our fears will invade our dreams and imagination.

The best antidotes to fear and anxiety are hope, faith, confidence and courage. Seek to develop these qualities by taking daily small steps forward. Even small progress will make a difference. Fear can paralyze us and prevent us from enjoying life to the hilt. When we overcome fear as a driving force, we can begin to discover the real adventure of living well, of enjoying the unpredictability of life, and of exploring new horizons.

Nearly complete!

Digging Yourself out of a Deep Hole

There are times in most of our lives when we feel completely down and out. At such times, our world seems to be collapsing around us and the pressures become intense. We are almost tempted to give up the struggle to survive.

I can remember some particularly dark hours. When I was a college student at Harvard in the late 1960’s, a summer roommate committed suicide. Not long afterwards my fiancé left me, during a time when I was experimenting with drugs. My moods became dark and confused. I was disoriented and totally off track.

I have had other dark times since then, perhaps not quite as intense. These times come due to sickness, a relationship breakdown, death of a loved one, a crisis with our job, or for any number of other good reasons. What these times all have in common is the intense feeling of darkness, despair and even depression.

Ancient spiritual texts (like the Psalms of David) speak metaphorically of falling into a pit or into a deep hole. Sometimes this pit seems like our burial ground, even though we are still struggling with all our resources not to become swallowed up.

Although it is possible for us to be ambushed by undeserved illness or by sudden misfortune, it is far more typical for us to be mostly responsible for our own pain and suffering.

We may have neglected our health, or our finances. We may have become hopelessly overcommitted with our jobs and/or family responsibilities.

We haven’t allowed enough time for rest, recreation, and other healthy disciplines. In fact, we may have grown dependent on drugs (legal or illegal) and alcohol just to get by.

Thus when misfortune strikes, we have drained our resources and are unable to meet the challenge. We fall into an attitude of hopelessness. The downward spiral seems almost unstoppable.

Most often, we need to accept responsibility for creating part of our difficulty. And even where disaster comes out of left field without any fault of our own, we ourselves are best able to improve the situation by using our creativity and determination.

For instance, I was severely paralyzed by Polio at age five. My parents assumed that I was destined to a lifetime of severe handicap and dependence on others. Fortunately, I dreamed of a wonderful future, which has indeed come to pass, despite having one bad leg. And sometimes I struggle still with this limitation and with my other shortcomings. That is part of the human condition.

Obviously, not every crisis has a fairy-tale ending. Some situations are virtually intractable. We may suffer from an illness which we know will eventually become fatal. We may live in a country or situation where there is little prospect for enjoying a happy life.

I wish there was a simple formula for getting out of any deep hole, but it is unfortunately not that straightforward. On the other hand, most situations are not doomed to failure, despite our dejected feelings. With time, most difficulties can be overcome.

Usually, it takes a crisis in our lives for us to recognize our own serious flaws and to begin the disciplined effort to make major changes in our lives. The great Swiss psychologist and philosopher Paul Tournier said that in times of crisis we can often make more changes in six months than we would ordinarily make in 20 years.

God and Destiny use crisis to bring us to our senses. These challenges come not to make us despair, but to work on our own transformation. Very rarely does falling in to a deep hole signify the end of our lives. There are almost always opportunities for us to dig our way out of our deep hole, however slowly.

Through fatigue or inertia, we sometimes choose to wallow in our dark hole for a long while before we start to explore solutions.

Finding the Right Path

Life is a challenge for all of us. No matter how rich or poor, how intelligent or slow-witted, or how successful or unsuccessful we may appear to be, life never stops being a major challenge and a constant struggle for us all.

Of course there are moments in the sunshine, or by the beach, or in our gardens when life seems perfect for an instant. But regrettably, such moments never last. Before long we return to our struggles.

Philosophers and sages have long spoken of the “Right Path” or the “Path of Life” to deal with our continuing life struggles. There are other metaphors or similar terms, such as the “Right Road”, or just “The Way” to do things. Modern experts still refer to a Career Path, or a Path to Recovery. There are various Paths to deal with our other challenges.

The path each of us is seeking may be as deep and complex as one’s spiritual direction or as mundane as finding employment or even losing weight as a path to good health. Whatever we are seeking, if we are seeking for something good and true, there is a path to be found, however difficult the search may be.

Let me tell you about one of my long struggles and the path I have found to deal with it. Over 30 years I have gained too much weight. My doctor tells me this was the result of my high-flying, executive life style, where I lived on coffee and adrenalin. Eventually my body demanded more and more food to keep up the pace. Now I have what is called a “metabolic syndrome” which often leads to diabetes and heart trouble.

I have what is called “a thrifty gene” which causes my body to slow my metabolism whenever I reduce my calorie intake, which has defeated all my past diets (and there have been many!)

I have now started on the South Beach Diet, which was created by Miami cardiologist Arthur Agatston for his heart patients to lose weight in a healthy, sustainable way. It initially involves eating only low-carbohydrate vegetables (no root vegetables) and low-fat proteins (lean meat, fish, reduced-fat cheese and legumes) and avoiding sugar of all kinds, including any fruit. In later stages of the diet it becomes less strict; fruit and healthy carbs are then allowed in moderation.

My main difficulty with this diet has been to find tasty meals with a very limited list of allowed ingredients. I love a creative prospect and have challenged myself to create good recipes that my wife Kathleen also enjoys.

Surprisingly, this diet “Path” is working remarkably well for me so far and I am steadily losing weight, helped by my regular exercise regime of swimming. I sometimes stray from this path for a day and fall back into my former eating habits (which is typical for all dieters), but when I return to the path, the diet keeps working, far better than my previous attempted diets. I hope I have now found the Path to improving my health.

Finding this diet path took me a lot of investigation, experimentation and adaptation (and patience). It is important to realize that there are good solutions to life’s most perplexing situations; there is a path through the maze if you are persistent and humble enough to look for wisdom beyond your self. Many of us are familiar with the saying of Jesus, “Seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.”

Finding the right Path for our struggles requires considerable persistence and determination. It requires seeking out Wisdom from the past and information from present day researchers and experts. I will continue to investigate and write further about these matters. My next challenge is to become a writer. I hope that my blogs are the beginning of this next Path.

Depressurizing

Despite my retirement, I discovered this past year that I am still quite susceptible to getting myself overstressed. Building our dream house has been a wonderful project, but I underestimated its emotional toll. First we moved out of our Vancouver house, packed up, got our children settled in new places and said goodbye to the community where we had lived most of our lives.

Then we moved to a tiny one bathroom house on the lovely property where the new house was being built. We were over-crowded with housemates, visitors, workman and possessions stacked up to the ceiling. My involvement in the construction process became virtually full-time, especially when our contractor’s wife was hospitalized for months and he thus needed time off to look after his four young children. Although this recent period was far from the most stressful time in my life, it was nonetheless another storm of action and emotion which left me exhausted.

When we push too hard constantly, we get wound up tighter and tighter. The faster and harder we work the further behind it seems that we get. The only solution is to let go, slow down, and to depressurize (like a deep sea diver slowly coming to the surface and adjusting to less atmospheric pressure).

When I can find inner tranquility and calm, then I can see my priorities clearly. Although I will always have 1001 more things to do, when I focus each day on the most important jobs, everything else also works out fine. There is actually plenty of time available for fun and relaxation.

Those who are unable to slow down voluntarily place themselves into danger of serious trouble, whether physical, emotional or social. They become obsessive, compulsive, and driven. They often crash and burn. Often they find illegitimate ways to escape from this fatiguing pressure, such as through drugs, pharmaceuticals and alcohol.

The key to maintaining our equilibrium in stressful times is to stop completely for a time of recharging before our psyche over-exerts and becomes destabilized. Our nervous system, emotions and digestion are quite susceptible to overheating. Our minds cannot focus when the clutter of activity builds relentlessly without ever a significant time of rest.

Long term efficiency and health requires keeping our entire being in top shape. Regular daily rest and recreation help greatly. But sometimes we need to get away from the rush for an extended shut down in order to recharge our batteries.

Depressurizing is what is what is required.